Today marks halfway through first week of Sophomore Year. It has been a year, and definitely it has been a very memorable one.
I may be ignorant and ranting about things but I cannot really imagine how I survived that school year without myself. Yes, definitely without myself. I mean, my old self.
It was really unimaginable to lose grip on things and people that I was with in High School. But I did. It could have been "WHAT IF?" I expected a lot of things from before, that is why I am very disappointed.
My first WHAT IF would be, "WHAT IF I WERE STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH HER?", (Sorry, you-know-who-u-r if you're reading, no offense and comparison intended, just pure emotions here) It was really remarkable for me. I haven't moved on from that, but still, I'm getting there. We're now really good friends making up for the lost time now, but yeah, it's just the very constant thing existing in this entire planet is CHANGE. And nothing can change that. I realized after quite giving time time(I'm not being redundant here, I am just explaining that giving time, time?! Whatever, I don't know either, just don't misinterpret it :)), it made me try to mingle with people. I'm quite a loner down at HS boulevard, and I'm not that known, not that I know of. I was inexplicable, but now I'm slightly an open book, just to those I feel like sharing to. I became cognizant that I had many friends, it's not streaming but I just have them when I am in need. I can only count them on my fingers but yet, they do everything for me. One of my closest friends now, I won't say her name, yeah, she'll figure this one out (Here's the tip, her name is someone associated with royalties, haha doof, obviously). I won't say she's my best friend now but she could be. I give people the same level of trust after all, HAHA. She's really a potential candidate to be, but you know, it's really hard to move on from the first. JOKE. I'm getting there, I promise. So much for being wordy and verbose, tss. I was a confidant back then, but now I'm the confider. It feels really good to let go of something because I know God planned something better or more. Okay let's get back to the topic. DOOF, segway..
Second, "WHAT IF I WENT TO ANOTHER SCHOOL TO SHIFT MY COURSE?", I was thinking hard on this, until now. I passed two magnificent schools and yet I haven't reconsidered them. I'm afraid I would ruin the things I have now. I don't know where I should belong to. I don't know, could it be NOWHERE? Maybe. I don't know. It's hard to choose, it could end the other or open a door to a new beginning. Whatever my decision will be, I hope I would make the right choice. NAGPAPAPIGIL PO AKO, FOR VALID REASONS. LOL, EMOTERA LANG.
Lastly, "WHAT IF HIGH SCHOOL WERE FOREVER?", I thought hard on this one. It was very striking to see if I could endure a life with all that pressure and stuff but I guess, that is what makes it something. I could have lived a life full of allowance all year, endless self-bullying, stuck with the people you know. That was it. If life would be a fairy tale, endings would never be real endings. I pictured a life like this, but I guess I won't trade that with the one that I have now. I'm secured. From the life I wanted. And the life I would like to be a mystery. It has been a great thing to be existing seventeen years on this planet, and I am very thankful for all the victories and downfalls, for falling in and out of attachments and heartbreaks, life and lifeless.
WHAT IF I START LOOKING BEYOND WHAT I CAN BE TO MAKE THE BEST OUT OF MY NOTHINGNESS? These are what I can say about my halfway celebration through the first week of Sophomore Year, it was kinda out of the way but, definitely noteworthy :))
MATTER OCCUPIES SPACE. BUT MY SPACE IS OCCUPIED BY SOMEONE(/PEOPLE) WHO MATTERS :))
Seriously,
Author Known, :))
My first WHAT IF would be, "WHAT IF I WERE STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH HER?", (Sorry, you-know-who-u-r if you're reading, no offense and comparison intended, just pure emotions here) It was really remarkable for me. I haven't moved on from that, but still, I'm getting there. We're now really good friends making up for the lost time now, but yeah, it's just the very constant thing existing in this entire planet is CHANGE. And nothing can change that. I realized after quite giving time time(I'm not being redundant here, I am just explaining that giving time, time?! Whatever, I don't know either, just don't misinterpret it :)), it made me try to mingle with people. I'm quite a loner down at HS boulevard, and I'm not that known, not that I know of. I was inexplicable, but now I'm slightly an open book, just to those I feel like sharing to. I became cognizant that I had many friends, it's not streaming but I just have them when I am in need. I can only count them on my fingers but yet, they do everything for me. One of my closest friends now, I won't say her name, yeah, she'll figure this one out (Here's the tip, her name is someone associated with royalties, haha doof, obviously). I won't say she's my best friend now but she could be. I give people the same level of trust after all, HAHA. She's really a potential candidate to be, but you know, it's really hard to move on from the first. JOKE. I'm getting there, I promise. So much for being wordy and verbose, tss. I was a confidant back then, but now I'm the confider. It feels really good to let go of something because I know God planned something better or more. Okay let's get back to the topic. DOOF, segway..
Second, "WHAT IF I WENT TO ANOTHER SCHOOL TO SHIFT MY COURSE?", I was thinking hard on this, until now. I passed two magnificent schools and yet I haven't reconsidered them. I'm afraid I would ruin the things I have now. I don't know where I should belong to. I don't know, could it be NOWHERE? Maybe. I don't know. It's hard to choose, it could end the other or open a door to a new beginning. Whatever my decision will be, I hope I would make the right choice. NAGPAPAPIGIL PO AKO, FOR VALID REASONS. LOL, EMOTERA LANG.
Lastly, "WHAT IF HIGH SCHOOL WERE FOREVER?", I thought hard on this one. It was very striking to see if I could endure a life with all that pressure and stuff but I guess, that is what makes it something. I could have lived a life full of allowance all year, endless self-bullying, stuck with the people you know. That was it. If life would be a fairy tale, endings would never be real endings. I pictured a life like this, but I guess I won't trade that with the one that I have now. I'm secured. From the life I wanted. And the life I would like to be a mystery. It has been a great thing to be existing seventeen years on this planet, and I am very thankful for all the victories and downfalls, for falling in and out of attachments and heartbreaks, life and lifeless.
WHAT IF I START LOOKING BEYOND WHAT I CAN BE TO MAKE THE BEST OUT OF MY NOTHINGNESS? These are what I can say about my halfway celebration through the first week of Sophomore Year, it was kinda out of the way but, definitely noteworthy :))
MATTER OCCUPIES SPACE. BUT MY SPACE IS OCCUPIED BY SOMEONE(/PEOPLE) WHO MATTERS :))
Seriously,
Author Known, :))
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