DEAR FIVE YEAR-OLD SELF #1

Dear Five year-old self, 


I am writing to you because I want you to know what a mess I, the seventeen year-old you has become. So if you are wondering , well I am in a "so-so" situation as of now. So far, so good. But really I miss the long naps, endless cartoons, being treated kindly, and attention catching entourages. 


I guess, everything has changed. I have grown up not doing what I want. That is the mere and worst part of me. I mean, of us. I got ditched by a couple of trusted people in my life resounding their inhabited memories all over my head again and again. Nobody wants to be with me because everyone thinks I am weird. I have friends, which you can count with your fingers and less. So does four a good number to you or do you want more? Nah, I'm just joking, I couldn't care less about bothering to increase in wasted specific numbers. 


I do not intend for you to understand much of what I want to say to you. But I could write to you my relentless adventures from this day on. I don't live up to others choices and recoil to it. I want you to make mistakes of your own and learn from what I am going to relate to you. 


The crazier improbability of this note is that you would not have the chance to read this. Actually, you'll find yourself staring blankly much these days if you are going to fit your feet in my shoes. Whereas, and which literally would not do and would never happen. I kept taunting reasons. I still do. But if you are wondering if you grew half-way of what you want to be. The answer is no. Not really.


The starting rhythm of any song speeds up in unison inside my brain. So every time I close my eyes, I drift in another world full of floating words and notes. Also, with crappy and unwanted moments playing on repeat over my head. They sting me like crazy.


After a year in college, you will find yourself lost. As in stuck in the moment, where you find yourself nowhere. Just grading the unstoppable consistency of falling. Throbbing. And breathing.



That's all for now. So TTYL.


Sincerely,
The older you, Jam



That's all for now. So TTYL.


Sincerely,
The older you, Jam